What About the Pepper Mill?
I had a friend post the other day on Facebook that she was looking for a pepper mill. Did anyone have one?
I said yes, I had three and she could have one. I then had to decide which one to give her. I have a set, silver and functional that I use daily, but in truth the mill doesn’t work that great. I have a lone pepper mill that matches my dinner china, and a third lone one in a cupboard hiding somewhere that didn’t match anything.
Which one to give her? It stumped me for days. The silver set wouldn’t be a set, so that doesn’t make sense to give it up. The one that matches my china matches the china, so the third one seems the obvious choice. But wait, it was given to my as a child by my brother. One of only a few things he ever gave me before he died. Clearly that is the one to keep? In the interest of full disclosure, I currently still have all three.
As many of you may know, I have worked for over 20 years in social work, as well as taken courses in communication, serving seniors, dementia and aging.
My expertise has come to me gradually over a lifetime of helping others. However, I am also a woman who had had to empty my parents home and still struggles to get rid of a pepper mill. Why do I say this? Because I understand first hand the dilemma of divestment.
So here are some tips I have put together for making these decisions:
Pick up an item you don’t know if you want to keep or not. Do you need it, or is it a grill you will never grill on again or a paper making kit and you know you will never want to make paper with again. If you will never need it, it can go.
Say it is a object d’art. Do you know where the item came from, who gave it to you and when? If you can’t remember, then consider why you are holding onto it. Remember, there are no wrong answers here. If you love it because it perfectly matches your sofa, then keep it. But try to know why to you are keeping it. If you have no idea where you got it and don’t love it, let it go.
Perhaps the item was given to you by someone who died. Consider then how many things from that person do you have? How many is enough? I want that pepper mill because my brother gave me so few things in his short life. But I have so many things that were my mother’s, I don’t need to keep them all. So today I am giving away her book on British royalty to a friend. I don’t have an interest in royalty. My friend does, she was a great help to me and the bonus is that I know where it is and can always look at it again if I want to, but at her house, not mine!
How many is too many? Do you have enough china sets for three concurrent dinner parties, and haven’t really had a dinner party in years. Or you have more art than you have wall space. Sometimes letting go of items that you have many of is an easy decision.
A last resort and possible pitfall is storage lockers. You can put anything in there, and they are not too expensive, so it seems like such a great idea to postpone the sorting and deciding and just pack it all away for another time. But now you have a monthly cost (I know one woman who has three storage lockers in addition to her full house. Minimum $300/month). Consider when or if you would finally feel like going through that locker. It becomes a never situation, and you lose your money and the items sit in the locker for years and years. Best not to take that route unless you have an imminent move and not enough time to sort.
Using a professional is a way to take the difficult and make it manageable. I know this is difficult, it was for me. I know what it is like to do it alone. It is overwhelming, sad, and seemingly endless. But you should not have to go though this alone. That is what I can do for you. I can make it easy, I can empty that locker, help you decide, take the garbage, recycling, away.
If you like the phone, feel free to call me. Or if you prefer, fill out my contact page. If you aren’t ready to take action, join my mailing list. I will send you quarterly newsletters with more helpful articles like this.